Parenting – Guidepost Montessori https://guidepostmontessori.com Discover the new Guidepost Tue, 30 Dec 2025 16:02:43 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://guidepostmontessori.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/guidepost-favicon-01-150x150.png Parenting – Guidepost Montessori https://guidepostmontessori.com 32 32 Is My Child Ready for Preschool? A Developmental Guide for Ages 2–5 https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/is-my-child-ready-for-preschool/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/is-my-child-ready-for-preschool/#respond Tue, 30 Dec 2025 16:02:42 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=10681 Guidepost Montessori

Is My Child Ready for Preschool? A Developmental Guide for Ages 2–5

Is my child ready for preschool? Preschool readiness is not about letters or numbers. It is about independence, emotional development, and finding an environment that supports your child’s natural growth from ages 2 to 5.

This post Is My Child Ready for Preschool? A Developmental Guide for Ages 2–5 first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

Is My Child Ready for Preschool? A Developmental Guide for Ages 2–5

For many parents, the question “Is my child ready for preschool?” surfaces quietly at first.

It might show up during a difficult morning routine. Or after another long nap struggle. Or when you notice your child suddenly insisting on doing everything themselves, yet still melting down moments later.

This question rarely comes from comparing children. It comes from something deeper. A sense that your child is changing, and a quiet wondering about whether the environment around them is still the right fit.

At Guidepost Montessori, we hear this question every day. And we want to say this clearly from the start:

Preschool readiness is not about knowing letters, numbers, or colors. It is not about sitting still. And it is not about being “ahead.”

Preschool readiness is about development. And development is not a checklist to pass or fail.

This guide is designed to help you understand what preschool readiness really looks like between ages 2 and 5, how to recognize the signs your child may be ready, and how to think about the type of environment that best supports them at each stage.

What Preschool Readiness Really Means

When parents search for “preschool readiness,” they are often hoping for clarity. But many articles reduce readiness to academic milestones or surface-level behaviors.

Developmentally, readiness is about something else entirely.

Preschool readiness reflects a child’s growing ability to:

  • Separate with trust
  • Participate in a shared environment
  • Care for themselves with increasing independence
  • Engage with others with support
  • Concentrate for short periods of time
  • Recover from big emotions with help

These capacities unfold gradually. They look different in every child. And they are shaped significantly by the environment adults create around them.

In Montessori education, readiness is not a gate. It is a signal. A signal that a child may benefit from a thoughtfully prepared environment that supports their next stage of growth.

Preschool Readiness at Age 2

Toddler sitting on a rug independently choosing Montessori materials from low wooden shelves in a calm, light-filled classroom.
A young child explores Montessori materials at their own pace in a thoughtfully prepared early childhood environment.

Many parents wonder whether age 2 is too young for preschool. The better question is whether the environment matches a two-year-old’s developmental needs.

At this age, readiness is less about group participation and more about emerging independence.

Signs a 2-year-old may be ready for a preschool environment

  • Shows interest in helping with simple tasks like wiping a spill or putting toys away
  • Wants to feed themselves, even if it is messy
  • Begins to follow simple routines with support
  • Shows curiosity about other children, even if play is still parallel
  • Can separate from a caregiver for short periods with reassurance
  • Communicates needs through words, gestures, or consistent cues

A two-year-old does not need to be verbal, compliant, or socially confident to be ready. What matters is whether they are beginning to seek autonomy and engagement beyond the home.

A developmentally appropriate preschool environment at this age emphasizes:

  • Predictable routines
  • Calm transitions
  • Freedom of movement
  • Practical life activities
  • Warm, consistent adults

Preschool Readiness at Age 3

Two toddlers smiling and working together with Montessori materials at a low classroom table. Is My Child Ready for Preschool?
Children choose their own work and build social independence through shared activities.

Age 3 is often when parents notice a shift. Children may become more expressive, more opinionated, and more emotionally intense.

This is not regression. It is growth.

At this stage, readiness often shows up as a desire to belong and participate.

Signs a 3-year-old may be ready for preschool

  • Begins to engage in short periods of focused activity
  • Shows interest in doing things “by myself”
  • Can follow multi-step routines with reminders
  • Experiences big emotions but can recover with adult support
  • Begins to engage socially, even if conflicts are common
  • Shows pride in completing tasks independently

Many parents worry that emotional outbursts mean a child is not ready. In reality, preschool is often the environment where emotional regulation develops most naturally when adults are trained to support it.

For three-year-olds, the environment matters more than the age.

Preschool Readiness at Age 4

Child tracing a number in a Montessori sand tray beside green number cards on a table.
A young child practices number formation using a tactile sand tray and Montessori number cards.

By age 4, children are often developmentally primed for deeper engagement, longer concentration, and more complex social interactions.

Readiness at this age is less about basic separation and more about sustained participation.

Signs a 4-year-old may be ready for preschool

  • Can concentrate on an activity for 15–30 minutes
  • Takes pride in doing meaningful work
  • Begins to resolve simple conflicts with guidance
  • Understands and follows classroom routines
  • Shows curiosity about letters, numbers, and patterns naturally
  • Seeks responsibility and leadership roles

At this stage, the biggest risk is placing a child in an environment that prioritizes performance over process.

Four-year-olds thrive when learning feels purposeful, hands-on, and self-directed rather than rushed or tested.

Preschool Readiness at Age 5

Guidepost Montessori classroom with multiple children working at individual tables across different activities.
Children choose work independently and move through the classroom with purpose.

Five-year-olds often carry quiet confidence when they have had time to develop foundational independence.

Preschool readiness at this age is often about refinement rather than readiness itself.

Signs a 5-year-old is thriving in a preschool environment

  • Sustains concentration for extended periods
  • Takes initiative and responsibility
  • Mentors younger peers
  • Navigates social situations with increasing empathy
  • Approaches learning with curiosity rather than pressure
  • Demonstrates self-regulation with occasional support

In Montessori environments, five-year-olds often serve as classroom leaders. Their confidence grows not because they are pushed ahead, but because they have mastered the fundamentals at their own pace.

A Preschool Readiness Checklist for Parents

Rather than asking whether your child meets every item below, consider how often you find yourself answering “sometimes.”

That is where growth lives.

Developmental readiness reflections

  • My child shows interest in doing things independently
  • My child benefits from predictable routines
  • My child is curious about their environment
  • My child can focus on activities that interest them
  • My child expresses emotions, even when big
  • My child enjoys being part of something beyond the home

Readiness is not a moment. It is a pattern.

Is My Child Ready for Preschool? What Parents Are Really Asking

Many parents search for “preschool vs daycare” when what they are really asking is:

Will my child be cared for, and will they grow?

Daycare focuses primarily on supervision and care. Preschool focuses on development. Montessori environments integrate both by treating care as part of learning.

The distinction is not about hours or labels. It is about intention, training, and environment.

A preschool environment that honors development:

  • Supports independence
  • Encourages concentration
  • Allows freedom within structure
  • Trains adults to observe rather than control
  • Respects each child’s individual timeline

Why Preschool Readiness Is Not About Academics

One of the most common misconceptions parents encounter is the idea that preschool readiness means academic readiness.

In reality, early academics emerge naturally when foundational capacities are in place.

Children learn best when they:

  • Feel emotionally safe
  • Trust the adults around them
  • Have agency over their work
  • Experience success through effort
  • Move their bodies
  • Use their hands

When these needs are met, letters and numbers follow organically.

What Kind of Preschool Environment Supports Readiness Best

Children set the table and build social independence through shared activities during lunch time.

A developmentally aligned preschool environment offers:

  • Mixed-age classrooms that normalize growth
  • A calm, orderly physical space
  • Hands-on materials designed for self-correction
  • Trained educators who observe before intervening
  • Respect for each child’s pace

This is why Montessori environments are uniquely suited to support preschool readiness across ages 2–5.

At Guidepost Montessori, readiness is not measured by tests or timelines. It is supported through observation, intentional design, and trust in the child’s development.

A Final Reassurance for Parents

If you are asking whether your child is ready for preschool, it likely means you are paying attention.

That matters.

Readiness is not about pushing children forward. It is about recognizing when they are ready for a broader world, and choosing an environment that meets them with respect, patience, and care.

If you are exploring what that environment could look like, we invite you to learn more about how Montessori supports children at every stage of early development.

Additionally, if you live locally near one of our schools, we’d welcome you to book a tour and see a Guidepost classroom in action!

Whatever decision you make, trust that your attention, care, and intention are already laying a strong foundation for your child’s next chapter.

This post Is My Child Ready for Preschool? A Developmental Guide for Ages 2–5 first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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When Should I Start Montessori? A Parent’s Complete Guide https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/when-should-i-start-montessori/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/when-should-i-start-montessori/#respond Wed, 17 Dec 2025 14:20:44 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=10601 Guidepost Montessori

When Should I Start Montessori? A Parent’s Complete Guide

When should you start Montessori? This guide helps parents understand when and how to start Montessori in a way that fits their child and family.

This post When Should I Start Montessori? A Parent’s Complete Guide first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

When Should I Start Montessori? A Parent’s Complete Guide

If you are wondering when to start Montessori, you are not alone. This is one of the most searched questions by parents exploring early childhood education. Many families discover Montessori while pregnant, others when their child turns two, and some much later when traditional schooling no longer feels right.

The truth is simple but nuanced. You can start Montessori earlier than most people realize, and the benefits change depending on when and how you begin.

This guide walks you through exactly when to start Montessori, what Montessori looks like at different ages, and how to decide what is right for your child and your family. Whether you are considering Montessori for an infant, toddler, preschooler, or older child, this article will help you make a confident, informed decision.

What Does It Mean to Start Montessori?

Before answering when to start Montessori, it helps to understand what starting Montessori actually means.

Montessori is not just a school model. It is a child-centered educational philosophy developed by Dr. Maria Montessori that focuses on independence, respect, purposeful work, and deep concentration.

When families talk about starting Montessori, they could mean one or more of the following:

  • Enrolling a child in a Montessori school or program
  • Beginning Montessori practices at home
  • Transitioning from a traditional daycare or preschool into Montessori
  • Introducing Montessori principles later in childhood

Montessori is designed to support children from birth through adolescence. That means there is no single “correct” starting age. Instead, there are optimal windows where certain benefits are especially powerful.

When Is the Best Age to Start Montessori?

The Short Answer

The best time to start Montessori is as early as possible, ideally from birth to age three. However, Montessori can be beneficial at any age when implemented thoughtfully.

The Long Answer

Montessori is built around what Dr. Montessori called sensitive periods, which are windows of time when children are especially receptive to learning certain skills. These periods begin at birth and continue through early childhood.

Starting Montessori early allows children to develop independence, focus, and intrinsic motivation before habits like external rewards or passive learning take hold.

That said, starting later does not mean you missed your chance. It simply means the approach looks a bit different.

Guidepost Montessori classroom with wooden shelves, hands-on learning materials, and natural light
A thoughtfully prepared Montessori Children’s House classroom designed to support independence, focus, and hands-on learning. One of the perfect age ranges to start Montessori!

Starting Montessori From Birth to 18 Months

Many parents are surprised to learn that Montessori can begin at birth.

At this stage, starting Montessori does not mean formal lessons. It means creating an environment that supports natural development.

What Montessori Looks Like for Infants

  • A calm, predictable environment
  • Freedom of movement rather than restrictive containers
  • Respectful caregiving and communication
  • Simple, purposeful materials instead of overstimulating toys

Infant Montessori programs, often called Nido environments, focus on trust, attachment, and physical autonomy. Babies are allowed to move, explore, and engage at their own pace.

Benefits of Starting Montessori This Early

  • Supports secure attachment
  • Encourages motor development and coordination
  • Builds early independence and confidence
  • Establishes respect as the foundation of learning

Starting Montessori in infancy sets the tone for how a child sees themselves in the world. They learn that their actions matter and that they are capable from the very beginning.

Infant lying on a floor mattress under a wooden Montessori play gym with hanging mobile toys.
An infant explores movement and visual focus under a simple wooden Montessori play gym.

When Should Toddlers Start Montessori?

If there is one age range that parents most often associate with starting Montessori, it is toddlerhood.

The Ideal Toddler Window: 18 Months to 3 Years

This is often considered one of the most powerful times to start Montessori.

Toddlers are driven by a strong desire to do things for themselves. Toddler Montessori environments are intentionally designed to meet that need rather than fight it.

What Montessori Looks Like for Toddlers

  • Child-sized furniture and tools
  • Practical life activities like pouring, cleaning, and food preparation
  • Clear routines and consistent expectations
  • Freedom within structure

Toddlers in Montessori are encouraged to participate in real life, not just pretend play. They learn how to care for themselves, their environment, and others.

Benefits of Starting Montessori at This Age

  • Reduces power struggles
  • Supports emotional regulation
  • Builds independence and self-esteem
  • Encourages language development through real conversation

Many parents notice that Montessori toddlers are calmer, more capable, and more engaged in their daily routines.

Two toddlers smiling and working together with Montessori materials at a low classroom table.
Children set the table and build social independence through shared activities during lunch time.

When to Start Montessori Preschool?

Ages 3 to 6: The Core Montessori Years

If you are deciding when to start Montessori preschool, you are looking at what many consider the heart of Montessori education.

This is when children enter the Children’s House environment.

Why Ages 3 to 6 Are So Important

During these years, children experience a surge in cognitive development, social awareness, and concentration. Montessori classrooms are designed to meet these needs through hands-on, self-directed learning.

What Children Learn in Montessori Preschool

  • Early literacy through phonetic, tactile materials
  • Mathematics through concrete exploration
  • Social skills through mixed-age classrooms
  • Problem-solving, focus, and perseverance

Children are not rushed. They are allowed to repeat work, make mistakes, and master concepts deeply.

Benefits of Starting Montessori at Preschool Age

  • Strong academic foundations without pressure
  • Long attention spans and deep concentration
  • Confidence in learning abilities
  • Respect for others and the environment

If your child has attended a traditional daycare or preschool, transitioning to Montessori at this age can still be incredibly impactful.

Visit our curriculum overview page to see what children ages 0 to 6 learn in Guidepost Montessori classrooms.

Group of young children working together around a small table in a Montessori classroom with shelves of materials in the background.
Mixed-age collaboration is a key part of Montessori learning and helps children practice respect and communication.

What If My Child Is Used to Traditional Schooling?

Many parents worry that their child will struggle to adjust to Montessori if they have already experienced traditional education.

In reality, most children adapt remarkably well.

Common Transition Challenges

  • Learning to make choices independently
  • Adjusting to fewer external rewards
  • Developing self-direction

These challenges are temporary. With proper support, children often become more confident, engaged, and motivated than they were before.

When Should I Start Montessori at Home?

You do not have to wait for school enrollment to start Montessori.

Montessori at Home Can Begin Anytime

Start Montessori at home with open shelves, simple wooden toys, and child-accessible learning materials
A simple home setup that shows how to start Montessori at home.

Whether your child is six weeks old or six years old, you can introduce Montessori principles at home.

Simple ways to start Montessori at home include:

  • Offering child-sized tools
  • Encouraging independence in daily routines
  • Creating orderly, accessible spaces
  • Allowing children time to concentrate without interruption

Starting Montessori at home can complement school or stand alone as a meaningful foundation.

The most important aspect is to ensure that your child’s school is aligned with, and supports, your home goals.

Signs Your Child Is Ready to Start Montessori

While Montessori can support children at many stages, certain signs suggest a child may especially benefit from starting now.

  • Strong desire to do things independently
  • Frustration with constant adult direction
  • Curiosity about how things work
  • Difficulty sitting still in traditional settings

These behaviors are not problems. They are signals that a Montessori environment may be a better fit.

Choosing the Right Time for Your Family

Deciding when to start Montessori is not just about your child. It is also about your family’s values, lifestyle, and goals.

Ask yourself:

  • Do we value independence and intrinsic motivation?
  • Are we comfortable with a less traditional academic structure?
  • Do we want learning to feel joyful rather than pressured?

If the answer is yes, Montessori may align beautifully with your family, regardless of the exact starting age.

Common Myths About When to Start Montessori

Myth 1: Montessori Is Only for Toddlers

Many people associate Montessori with toddlers because that is often when families first encounter it. In reality, Montessori was designed to support children from birth through adolescence. Infant environments focus on movement, trust, and secure attachment. Toddler classrooms support independence and emerging self-control. Preschool and elementary environments deepen academic skills, social development, and critical thinking. At every stage, the approach evolves to meet children where they are developmentally. Montessori is not a phase. It is a complete educational framework that grows with your child.

Myth 2: You Miss the Benefits If You Start Late

Starting Montessori early can be powerful, but it is never too late to benefit from the approach. Children who enter Montessori later often show rapid growth in confidence, focus, and motivation once they experience an environment that respects their autonomy. Montessori classrooms are intentionally designed to support transitions, allowing children to build independence at their own pace. While early exposure can shape habits from the start, children of all ages can thrive when given the freedom, structure, and respect that Montessori provides.

Myth 3: Montessori Is Too Unstructured

Montessori classrooms may look more relaxed than traditional classrooms, but they are deeply structured and thoughtfully designed. Every material has a specific purpose. Every routine supports independence and concentration. Children are given freedom, but always within clear boundaries and expectations. This balance of structure and choice helps children develop self-discipline, responsibility, and focus. Rather than relying on constant adult direction, Montessori teaches children how to manage their time, work, and behavior in a meaningful and lasting way.

Final Thoughts: When Should You Start Montessori?

If you are asking when should I start Montessori, it likely means you are already thinking deeply about your child’s development.

The earliest years offer powerful opportunities, but Montessori is not an all-or-nothing decision. It is a philosophy that meets children where they are.

Start early if you can. Start later if you need to. Start at home, at school, or both.

The most important thing is not the exact age. It is choosing an environment that respects your child as capable, curious, and worthy of meaningful work.

This post When Should I Start Montessori? A Parent’s Complete Guide first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Montessori Discipline: The Parenting Method That Actually Works https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/montessori-discipline/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/montessori-discipline/#respond Fri, 14 Nov 2025 11:05:47 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=9632 Guidepost Montessori

Montessori Discipline: The Parenting Method That Actually Works

If you have been searching “What is Montessori discipline?” you are probably hoping for a calmer home and more cooperation from your child. That is exactly why we created this guide!

This post Montessori Discipline: The Parenting Method That Actually Works first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

Montessori Discipline: The Parenting Method That Actually Works

When parents first hear the phrase Montessori discipline, many imagine a free-for-all environment where children set all the rules.

There is just one problem with that.

That version of discipline is permissive parenting, and it is the opposite of what Montessori discipline is about.

If you are struggling with tantrums, power struggles, or constant reminders, you are probably feeling exhausted and discouraged.

That is completely understandable! Parenting without a framework can feel chaotic.

The good news is that Montessori discipline is one of the most structured and respectful approaches to raising confident and capable children. It gives you a clear framework for holding firm limits while staying calm, connected, and consistent. This framework comes directly from Positive Discipline, the approach created by Jane Nelsen, which is the same method we use to train all Guidepost Montessori teachers.

At its core, Montessori discipline is built on mutual respect, natural consequences, and skill building instead of punishments or bribes. It helps children learn how to regulate themselves, not just how to behave when an adult is watching.

Below is our practical, parent-friendly guide to understanding Montessori discipline and using it in everyday life.

What Is Montessori Discipline?

To be completely honest, “Montessori discipline” is not a traditional discipline method. It is more of a googled phrase that brings families to the right idea.

And that is exactly why we wrote this guide! We want you to have the real facts behind the scenes.

Most parents searching for “Montessori discipline” are actually looking for more calm, more structure, and more cooperation at home. The good news is that the Positive Discipline framework we use in our classrooms translates beautifully into home life.

To that end, “Montessori discipline,” also known as Positive Discipline, is a guidance approach that helps children develop self control, problem solving skills, and respect for themselves and others.

Instead of rewarding “good” behavior or punishing “bad” behavior, Positive Discipline focuses on teaching the skills behind the behavior. Children learn through modeling, connection, and consistent routines.

Over time, this builds internal motivation rather than dependence on external pressure or rewards.

When people refer to Montessori discipline, they are almost always describing the authoritative parenting style in the Baumrind framework. This style combines high warmth with high responsibility.

Here is what that looks like at home:

  • Parents are kind and firm at the same time.
  • Children feel emotionally safe.
  • Children experience clear limits and consistent follow through.
  • Expectations are predictable and fair.
  • Adults guide instead of controlling or criticizing.

This balance helps children cooperate because they trust the adult and understand what is expected of them.

Infographic showing Baumrind’s four parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful, with key characteristics listed for each style.
Montessori discipline aligns with the authoritative style, which balances kindness and firm boundaries.

Baumrind’s authoritative parenting style help us understand how warmth and expectations shape development. It is the exact foundation of Positive Discipline.

Why Positive Discipline Works

Positive discipline works because it meets the real needs of your child’s developing brain. It focuses on teaching skills, guiding behavior, and strengthening the parent-child relationship, which is the foundation for cooperation and healthy development.

1. It teaches, rather than punishes

Punishment may stop a behavior for the moment, but it does not teach the child what to do next time. In many cases, punishment creates shame, fear, or resentment, which blocks learning and damages connection.

Positive discipline (which is another way of describing authoritative parenting) takes a different approach. It helps children understand what went wrong, what their bodies or feelings were trying to express, and what a better option looks like. Our Montessori approach to positive discipline strengthens this idea by guiding the child toward a more skillful response.

Instead of “Stop that,” it becomes “Let’s try this instead.”

Over time, the child learns self control, emotional regulation, and problem solving, which are the real drivers of better behavior.

2. It builds internal motivation

Rewards like stickers, treats, and over-the-top praise can create short-term compliance, but they do not foster long-term responsibility. Children start behaving for the reward rather than for the value behind the behavior. Once the reward disappears, the motivation disappears with it.

Positive discipline nurtures internal motivation. Children behave well because they understand how their actions affect themselves and others. They feel proud of contributing to their family or classroom. They want to repeat behaviors that help them feel capable and connected. This kind of motivation lasts because it grows from within, not from the promise of a prize.

3. It builds trust and long-term confidence

Children thrive in environments where adults are warm, clear, and predictable. When discipline is respectful, children feel emotionally safe, which allows them to take risks, try new skills, and learn from mistakes.

This is why positive discipline has such a powerful impact on confidence. Children learn that adults are reliable guides who follow through calmly and consistently, and that they can be trusted. They learn that mistakes are part of learning, not moments of fear.

Over time, this builds independence, empathy, resilience, and a strong sense of self. By trusting the adult, and seeing that the adult is who they say they are, the child begins to trust themselves too. As they grow, they learn to lean on their instincts, make thoughtful choices, and feel confident in their own judgment.

Group of young children working together around a small table in a Montessori classroom with shelves of materials in the background.

How to Use Positive Discipline at Home

Positive Discipline works best when it feels lived, not performed.

These seven steps can help you guide your child through connection, clarity, and follow through. Each step reflects the heart of authoritative parenting, which is the combination of high warmth and high responsibility.

Remember, this is the style most closely aligned with Montessori principles and is the exact approach we use in our classrooms.

1. Stay calm and regulate yourself first

Your child cannot regulate if you are disregulated. Children borrow the adult’s nervous system. Your tone, posture, and breath set the emotional temperature of the room.

When you feel tension rising, pause, lower your voice, and ground your body before responding. This is the foundation of authoritative parenting.

Try simple scripts like:

  • “Let’s take a breath together.”
  • “I will wait until we both feel calm.”

Your calm presence signals safety, and safety is the starting point for cooperation.

2. Set clear limits and explain the “why”

Authoritative parents set firm boundaries with warmth. Limits protect your child’s safety and the harmony of your home. Children follow limits more readily when they understand the reason behind them.

Examples:

  • “Inside we walk to keep people safe. You may jump outside.”
  • “You can use the marker on paper or the whiteboard. These surfaces stay clean.”

Whenever possible, you can also offer choices to support autonomy:

  • “Would you like to clean up with a cloth or a sponge?”
  • “Do you want to open the door and check how cold it is outside? Do you think you’ll need a jacket?”

Clarity plus choice reduces power struggles and increases internal cooperation.

3. Use natural or logical consequences

Positive Discipline avoids punishments because punishment can trigger fear, shame, or rebellion. You might have heard yourself use phrases like these in the past:

  • “We are never coming back here again!”
  • “Fine, then no park for a week.”
  • “If you don’t stop, you are going straight to your room.”
  • “That’s it. All your toys are gone!”

These statements may stop the behavior temporarily, but they do not teach anything. They damage trust and usually escalate the power struggle.

Authoritative parents use natural or logical consequences instead. These consequences are directly connected to the behavior and teach responsibility without harming the relationship.

Examples:

  • If a child spills water, they help wipe it up.
  • If a material is damaged, the child helps repair it or waits until they can handle it responsibly.
  • If a toy is thrown, the toy is put away because it is not being used safely.
  • If a child refuses to put their plate away after dinner, it stays on the table until they are ready to do their part.

The goal is learning, not guilt. A meaningful consequence is fair, logical, and preserves the child’s dignity.

4. Involve the child in problem solving

Children want to contribute! Positive Discipline uses problem solving to build agency and accountability. Instead of lecturing or fixing everything for them, you invite them to think with you.

Try phrases like:

  • “What can we try next time so this goes more smoothly?”
  • “How can we fix this together?”
  • “What would help your body feel calm right now?”

This approach teaches the child that mistakes are opportunities to learn, not moments of shame.

5. Create routines that support independence

Structure brings peace. Children thrive when the rhythm of the day is predictable and when they can do more things themselves.

Support independence with:

  • A simple morning routine
  • A tidy, accessible environment with child-sized tools
  • Consistent rhythms for meals, snacks, and sleep
  • A designated place for each belonging

When children know what comes next and have the tools to succeed, cooperation increases naturally.

6. Model respect and responsibility

Children absorb how we speak, move, and solve problems. Modeling is one of the strongest Positive Discipline strategies because children copy what we do, not what we say.

Examples:

  • If you find a spill, say: “I will clean this up now,” instead of “Who made this mess?”
  • When you’re personally overwhelmed, say: “I am feeling frustrated, so I will take a moment,” instead of reacting sharply.

The key here is to speak to your child with the same respect you would use with another adult.

The most important thing to remember is this: if you set a limit for your child, follow it yourself. For example, if you tell your child they cannot have candy before dinner, do not eat candy yourself in front of them or secretly in the kitchen. Consistency builds trust.

Your modeling becomes the blueprint your child uses when they face challenges, make decisions, and learn to regulate their emotions. And more importantly, figure out how to be good people.

7. Focus on encouragement, not praise

You might be thinking, “well, what’s the difference?”

Encouragement builds internal motivation.
Praise shifts a child’s focus toward pleasing others rather than valuing their own effort.

Praise sounds like:

  • “Good job.”
  • “You are so smart.”
  • “You are such a good kid.”

Encouragement sounds like:

  • “You worked hard to zip your coat.”
  • “You kept trying, even when it was tricky.”
  • “You noticed the spill and cleaned it up right away. That was helpful for us all, thank you.”

Positive Discipline places effort, growth, and capability at the center. When paired with encouragement, it strengthens all three and reinforces your child’s ability to find their calm and learn how to do hard things.

Two children working together at a Montessori activity tray, using droppers to transfer colored water during a practical life exercise.

If You Want to Try Positive Discipline, but Your Family Is Not on the Same Page

This situation is extremely common. One parent often discovers Montessori, loves what they see in the classroom, enrolls their child, and then realizes they are not sure how to bring that same calm clarity into everyday home life, especially when it comes to discipline. (Cue the late-night ChatGPT search for “What is Montessori discipline?”)

You might find yourself trying things, feeling inconsistent, or wondering why certain strategies work for teachers but not for you.

The truth is that the same consistency children want is the very thing the immediate family must align on first.

If one parent leans permissive and another leans authoritarian, your child already knows the difference. Children are incredibly perceptive! They learn quickly and understand which adult allows what, who they can push, and where the limits bend. This creates confusion, mixed messages, and more power struggles, not fewer.

The first step is not jumping into techniques. The first step is having a simple, honest conversation and creating a united front. Your parenting styles do not need to be identical, but they do need to be moving in the same direction.

Using a framework like Positive Discipline and intentionally leaning toward the authoritative parenting style gives your family shared language, shared expectations, and shared follow through. Once you have that, the rest becomes much easier, and the calm you see in Montessori classrooms starts to take shape in your home too.

The Most Helpful Next Step

Watch Our Free Positive Phrasing Video

To help you get started, we want to make this as simple and accessible as possible. One of the easiest ways to align your immediate family is to learn from the same source.

To support you, we are excited to share one of the very first videos all of our teachers watch during their orientation week when they join Guidepost. And we are offering it to you for free!

This video breaks down the core principles of Positive Discipline in a clear, practical way, and it shows exactly how we use Positive Phrasing to guide children with high warmth and high responsibility.

It is the perfect starting point for families wanting to parent with more consistency, confidence, and calm.

If you enjoyed that video and want to explore the full course on Positive Phrasing, or browse other offerings, visit the Prepared Montessorian Institute’s course catalogue here.

A Final Reminder

Parenting is a learning journey. No one has it all figured out, and no one parents perfectly.

The fact that you are reading this resource already shows how much you care and how invested you are in giving your child the best possible foundation.

Every small effort you make today helps shape a childhood filled with safety, connection, and growth, and those experiences become the building blocks of a capable, confident adult.

You are doing meaningful work, and it matters more than you know.

This post Montessori Discipline: The Parenting Method That Actually Works first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Why Montessori Is Expensive: The Real Cost, The Real Value, And Why It Matters For Your Child’s Future https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/why-montessori-is-expensive/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/why-montessori-is-expensive/#respond Fri, 07 Nov 2025 15:28:50 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=9461 Guidepost Montessori

Why Montessori Is Expensive: The Real Cost, The Real Value, And Why It Matters For Your Child’s Future

Montessori is not simply more expensive care. It is an investment in the earliest stage of brain development, where executive function, independence, literacy foundations, and intrinsic motivation are built. When you evaluate outcomes rather than monthly cost, Montessori becomes one of the most efficient educational investments a parent can make.

This post Why Montessori Is Expensive: The Real Cost, The Real Value, And Why It Matters For Your Child’s Future first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

Why Montessori Is Expensive: The Real Cost, The Real Value, And Why It Matters For Your Child’s Future

Why we think Montessori is expensive

For many parents, the search for early childhood education starts with one feeling. The desire to give their child a better beginning than they ever had themselves. They want a place where their child is safe, cared for, intellectually stimulated, emotionally supported, and developing skills that will translate into the real world, not just memorized for short term academic output.

So they look at Montessori. And then they look at tuition. They pause, because they think Montessori is expensive.

Montessori tuition often sits at the top end of early childhood pricing. When parents compare Montessori to daycare or preschool around them, Montessori programs tend to cost more. This is where the uncomfortable question many parents hold internally becomes loud:

Why is Montessori so expensive? Is this real value or is this just a niche brand premium?

At Guidepost, we take this question seriously. Because we believe that cost should be transparent, value should be explained clearly, and families deserve to understand precisely what they are investing in. This is not a luxury style tuition model. Montessori is a fundamentally different educational model that takes more to deliver well and gives significantly more in return.

We are going to break down the real reason Montessori costs more than traditional early childhood programs. Then we will show why Montessori is actually not just more expensive. Montessori is more cost effective long term when outcomes are measured beyond age five and across a lifetime of skill formation. Finally, we will share why Guidepost has recently doubled down on strengthening program outcomes and child milestones while raising overall child outcome quality and parent satisfaction, all while protecting the integrity of the model proven by research.

This topic matters. Because when you understand why “Montessori is expensive”, the entire frame shifts. The conversation moves from price to value. It moves from monthly tuition to your child’s lifetime developmental return. And it moves parents from fear based comparison shopping to confident, informed education decision making.

Montessori is expensive writing shelf with colored pencil holders arranged in rainbow order next to metal insets.
Montessori writing shelf with colored pencil holders arranged in rainbow order next to metal insets.

Montessori is fundamentally different than traditional preschool

Most traditional preschool models are childcare centric. Their primary goal is to keep children safe, supervised, and socially engaged. These programs vary in quality, but the underlying structure is relatively similar. Caregivers run the classroom. Children follow the group agenda. Activities are whole group led or caregiver directed. Children work at the same pace. The classroom adult determines most of the scope, sequence, initiation and pacing of learning.

Montessori flips this model.

Montessori classrooms are designed as a prepared environment where children can independently explore tangible, scientific, carefully sequenced learning materials. The materials have embedded control of error. The classroom is built around autonomy and developmental order. The teacher is not an instructor at the center of the room. The teacher is a trained guide who observes, individualizes, and supports learning as a scientific process.

This single shift requires more. More expertise. More development science. More intentionality. More environment structure. More assessment of readiness and timing. Because Montessori is actually teaching the underlying executive functions in children that create a long term academic advantage. Not just surface level pre-academic exposure.

It costs more because it does more and because it creates more.
Not in the short term only. In the long term trajectory of a child’s life.

Guidepost Montessori classroom with multiple children working at individual tables across different activities.
Children choose work independently and move through the classroom with purpose.

What actually drives the “Montessori is expensive” theory

1. The scientifically designed Montessori materials

Montessori materials are not toys. They are not store bought puzzles, plastic shapes, or basic manipulatives. They are precision mathematical and sensorial instruments created to isolate specific developmental concepts. Materials like the Pink Tower, golden beads, metal insets, binomial cube, and moveable alphabet are not made cheaply, and they cannot be replaced with imitation toys from the likes of Fisher-Price and still produce the same neurological impact.

These material sets are expensive to make, expensive to replace, and require care and rotation. They are durable materials because they are used daily by small children. They must withstand heavy physical use but remain completely precise so that the child encounters the same scientific sensory experience each time they work.

Traditional preschool materials do not require this level of precision.

2. Teacher Training and High Fidelity Montessori Practice

Montessori teacher preparation requires a very different level of expertise than most early childhood or preschool programs. Montessori guides complete specialized certification that includes deep developmental study, lesson sequencing, classroom observation hours, and supervised practice. They learn hundreds of individual material lessons. They learn how to scientifically observe children. They learn how to guide through developmental readiness rather than through generic curriculum pacing. This is cost, but it is productive cost. You are paying for expertise that actually changes how children learn.

At Guidepost, every classroom is led by trained Montessori guides who are grounded in observation, independence, and the prepared environment. Many of our guides are trained through The Prepared Montessorian Institute, our MACTE-accredited training institute. Others arrive with credentials from respected organizations including AMI, AMS, or regional programs such as TAI in Asia. What matters most is that every lead guide is formally trained, certified, and supported by a standardized training pipeline that ensures consistency across our entire network.

Guidepost Montessori guide sitting beside a child working with a sandpaper letter at a classroom table.
Guides observe and introduce new lessons exactly when a child is developmentally ready.

Parents often ask how we know a child is learning if they can choose their own lessons. Freedom always exists within structure. Guides observe and track every child’s progress daily and introduce new lessons the moment a child is ready. This allows children to work independently inside clear boundaries that foster concentration, mastery, and confidence at their own pace.

We measure readiness through Montessori based progress benchmarks and ongoing observation. Families receive continuous updates through classroom communication, the Illumine parent app, and milestone check-ins. This level of training and tracking ensures that Montessori is not a free-flow environment. It is structured scientific education delivered through highly trained professionals.

Side by side Montessori curriculum comparison chart showing Nido, Toddler, and Children’s House learning domains, with curriculum categories such as The Great Story of Humanity, Literature, Writing and Communication, Fine Arts, Science, Math, Practical Life, and Pursuits, outlining what each developmental stage focuses on in early childhood.
A visual snapshot of Guidepost’s Early Years Curriculum.

3. Prepared environment maintenance

Montessori classrooms require ongoing material order, rotation, environment resetting, and classroom curation. This is not a one time classroom setup.

Montessori guides spend significant time analyzing which materials each child is ready to use and which materials need to be introduced next. This environment maintenance is part of the pedagogy. It is how children build independence, self direction, concentration, and academic acceleration.

Traditional preschools do not have this structural labor requirement.

4. Multi age classroom structure

Beginning in the Children’s House program, Montessori places children in three year age groupings. This structure allows older children to teach and model skills for younger children, which strengthens mastery for both groups. Younger children naturally absorb more complex work by observing peers who are slightly ahead of them developmentally.

This mirrors real life social learning and prepares children for environments where ages and skill levels are mixed. It also requires higher staffing competency, deeper observation skill from guides, and greater classroom design intentionality than single age cohorts. This adds cost, but it directly contributes to deeper learning, stronger peer based growth, and more authentic developmental progress.

Group of young children engaging with materials at a classroom table in a Montessori environment.
Children work independently and together in a prepared learning environment.

What Montessori tuition includes that traditional preschool does not

Montessori tuition is not paying for more supervision. It is paying for deeper cognitive and developmental construction that will translate long after preschool ends.

Montessori builds:

  • executive function control
  • concentration and sustained attention
  • intrinsic motivation
  • emotional regulation
  • patience and resilience
  • self confidence and personal agency
  • phonetic based literacy formation that aligns with the science of reading
  • conceptual based math understanding rooted in quantity and place value
  • scientific method style thinking through experimentation and material feedback
  • independence and self direction skills

Most parents assume that Montessori is simply a nice alternative school format. Montessori is not style. Montessori is a cognitive formation model that builds the architecture of how a child learns at the deepest levels.

This is the real value. Not the furniture. Not the brand. Not the aesthetic.

It is the neurological architecture that becomes the foundation for later academic success.

Montessori versus traditional childcare economic comparison

If you only compare month to month tuition, Montessori looks more expensive. This is the short horizon comparison most parents make when they are evaluating preschool options. Childcare is priced on hours of supervision. Montessori is priced on developmental transformation.

When you evaluate long term outcomes, Montessori is not more expensive. It is more efficient. Children who build executive function, independence, concentration, intrinsic motivation, and mastery orientation early outperform later. They require less remediation. They require less push. Their learning is self propelled instead of adult managed. This creates compounding return.

You could even argue that this is the most important investment to make in a child’s entire academic life. College is a late stage intervention. By the time a young adult arrives at university, most of their habits, attention patterns, motivation type orientation, and cognitive architecture are already formed. The brain is the most malleable in the first six years of life, which is precisely where Montessori invests.

This is the difference between paying for short term supervision versus paying for the construction of how a child learns for life. Montessori is not just preschool. It is foundational brain building at the exact time when it matters most. Which ultimately makes it the more cost effective model, even when the monthly tuition number is higher.

Child tracing a sandpaper letter at a small table with a Montessori guide observing and supporting.
A Guidepost Montessori guide gives a child a tactile letter lesson to build phonetic awareness.

Evidence: The national Montessori randomized controlled trial

We believe that parents deserve evidence. Not just ideology.

A recent national randomized controlled study across 24 public Montessori schools found that children who were offered Montessori seats scored significantly higher at kindergarten in reading, short term memory, theory of mind, and executive function compared to children who did not receive Montessori placement.

This is real field data. Not lab simulation. Not small pilot sample. This is randomized research in public school conditions, which is the gold standard.

The research also noted something surprising to many parents who assume Montessori must cost more structurally. Over three years, in the public sector implementation studied, Montessori cost districts less per child than traditional programs serving the same ages. This was due to structural efficiencies and the way Montessori uses child to teacher ratio differently in early years.

This flips the conversation entirely. Montessori is not expensive because it is inefficient. Montessori often costs more in private settings because it is high integrity implementation of a scientifically grounded model.

Why Montessori is misperceived as expensive instead of cost effective

Most parents compare schools on the wrong dimension. They compare based on short term tuition instead of long term developmental returning value.

Traditional preschool often looks cheaper on paper because it is simple to operate at scale. But it produces shallow short term output that does not sustain itself into elementary school. That means parents and schools often end up paying later. In academic pressure. In interventions. In frustration based learning cycles. In behaviors driven by disregulated executive function. In expensive remediation and tutoring later.

Montessori eliminates much of this future cost by building the underlying executive brain skill set early. Montessori tuition is an investment at the exact point where the brain is the most malleable, the most formative, and the most responsive to environment shaping.

Montessori math shelf with red and blue number rods, golden beads, number cards, and early math work materials.
In the classroom, materials are sequenced to reveal math concepts step by step.

Why Guidepost has invested in making Montessori more accessible

At Guidepost, we believe Montessori should not be limited to the few children whose parents can afford elite private school pricing. Maria Montessori’s original mission was to bring scientific education to the masses. Montessori began as a model for children with the greatest need and the least support.

Guidepost is the largest Montessori network in the world because we have taken that original mission seriously at scale. We have lived through challenge as an organization and those lessons have sharpened our clarity about what must endure and what truly matters. We have doubled down on the areas we know are sustainable, and that means student outcomes first. We have invested in operational efficiency, centralized training, material supply chain coordination, and platform based systems development so that we can lower the cost barrier and democratize access, while raising the quality of outcomes children achieve and protecting authentic Montessori practice.

Our goal is not to make Montessori expensive. Our goal is to make authentic Montessori accessible to more families so that more children can benefit from this type of developmental trajectory.

The real value for parents

Parents are not buying childcare hours. They are investing in the formation of the way their child learns for the rest of their life.

Montessori is expensive because it is not a low cost care model. Montessori is expensive because it is an investment in neurological development, emotional intelligence, human skill formation, literacy and numeracy foundations, and personal agency. And even then, in most markets, Guidepost is not drastically higher than the cost of a standard daycare program. The difference is often smaller than parents assume. We work hard to keep our tuition as reasonable as possible while still delivering a higher fidelity developmental model. The additional cost is directly tied to the level of quality, intentionality, and long term outcomes the program produces.

When families look at Montessori solely as preschool, they miss the real meaning of the cost. This is not buying time. This is purchasing opportunity.

Overhead view of children working with the Montessori Stamp Game, arranging green, blue, and red place value tiles and writing answers on graph paper.
This material features color coded place value tiles that make addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division concrete before abstraction.

Our final conclusion

Montessori is expensive because it requires more precision, more training, more structure, and more developmental intentionality than traditional preschool programs. But the research shows that Montessori also produces stronger long term outcomes by the end of kindergarten, particularly in reading, memory, theory of mind, and executive functioning.

When you take this into account, Montessori is not just an educational choice. It is an investment strategy for your child’s adult life.

At Guidepost, we believe that the true measure of early childhood education value is not what a parent pays monthly. The measure is what that child gains for life. When the science of Montessori is implemented with fidelity and supported by a prepared environment, trained guides, multi age community structure, and developmentally aligned material progression, the investment pays dividends far beyond the school year.

Above all, Montessori is powerful. Our role at Guidepost is to make that power accessible, sustainable, scalable, and available to the families who want more than care. They want transformation.

This post Why Montessori Is Expensive: The Real Cost, The Real Value, And Why It Matters For Your Child’s Future first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Holding Boundaries During the Holidays: 5 Montessori Steps to Keep the Peace https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/holding-holiday-boundaries/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/holding-holiday-boundaries/#respond Fri, 31 Oct 2025 13:50:53 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=9399 Guidepost Montessori

Holding Boundaries During the Holidays: 5 Montessori Steps to Keep the Peace

This holiday season, discover how Montessori principles can help you set gentle, firm boundaries that keep both you and your child grounded.

This post Holding Boundaries During the Holidays: 5 Montessori Steps to Keep the Peace first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

Holding Boundaries During the Holidays: 5 Montessori Steps to Keep the Peace

The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But for many parents, they can also bring stress, overstimulation, and a tug-of-war between what boundaries feel right for your family and what others expect.

Between costumes and candy, travel plans, family gatherings, and gift overload, children can quickly lose their rhythm—and so can adults. Montessori parenting offers a simple, respectful lens to navigate it all: observe, prepare, and stay grounded in your values.

This season, the goal is not perfection. It’s peace.

Why Holidays Can Feel So Hard for Young Children

Maria Montessori wrote that “order is one of the needs of life which, when it is satisfied, produces real happiness.” For young children, order comes through rhythm—predictable routines, familiar environments, and a sense of control.

During the holidays, that rhythm is disrupted.

  • Mealtimes change.
  • Sleep schedules shift.
  • Houses fill with visitors, noise, and sugar.
  • Adults’ attention stretches thin.

From a Montessori lens, the resulting meltdowns or clinginess aren’t misbehavior—they’re communication. A child who suddenly resists sharing toys with visiting cousins or collapses into tears over a costume isn’t being “difficult.” They’re expressing overwhelm.

The antidote? Preparation and boundaries.

Illustrated row of dark seaside houses with nautical details and birds flying thinking about holiday boundaries above.

Step One: Prepare the Environment

In the classroom, we prepare the environment before expecting peaceful behavior. Home is no different—especially during the holidays.

1. Keep one predictable anchor.
Choose one routine to protect daily: snack time, nap, or bedtime. Children rely on rhythm. Even one stable moment each day provides security.

2. Set expectations early.
Before visiting family, gently preview what’s coming.
“Grandma might want a hug. You can say yes, or you can wave.”
“We will open one gift now, and the rest after dinner.”

Clear, respectful language helps children feel prepared, not surprised.

3. Limit the “yes.”
In Montessori, freedom exists within limits. The same applies during the holidays. Too much sugar, too many late nights, too many choices—these overwhelm the child’s sense of order. Choose what matters most, and let go of the rest.


Step Two: Hold Boundaries with Grace and Courtesy

Boundaries are not walls; they are guidance. Montessori adults model firmness without domination, kindness without indulgence.

1. Say less, show more.
When your child resists leaving a party or struggles with sharing, use calm movement instead of words. Offer your hand. Help guide the transition. Children follow energy more than explanation.

2. Replace “No” with clear direction.
Instead of “No more candy!” try:
“You may choose one more piece, then we’ll save the rest for tomorrow.”

Instead of “Don’t touch that,” say:
“That’s breakable. Let’s look with our eyes.”

This small shift preserves dignity while still holding the limit.

3. Partner with your child, not against them.
If your child is melting down after a long day of visiting, step away together. Whisper, “It’s a lot today. Let’s take a breath.” Regulation begins with co-regulation.

Boundaries aren’t about control. They are about connection through consistency.


Step Three: Respect the Child’s Dignity

The holidays often bring adults who love your child but may not understand your parenting approach. Montessori reminds us that every interaction shapes the child’s self-image.

When someone says,
“She’s shy, aren’t you going to say hello?”

You can gently model:
“She’s still warming up. She’ll join when she’s ready.”

When someone insists on affection,
“Give Grandpa a kiss!”

You can say:
“She can decide how she wants to greet you.”

It’s not about rejecting family traditions—it’s about honoring the child’s autonomy. Montessori believed deeply that independence must be respected from the earliest years. That includes their right to choose how they engage socially.


Step Four: Model Emotional Regulation

Children mirror the adults around them. When you feel stretched, they sense it.
Before a gathering, pause for your own five-minute reset:

  • Step outside for fresh air.
  • Take three slow breaths.
  • Remind yourself, “I can be the calm in this moment.”

Your steadiness gives your child the grounding they need.

And when things do go sideways—and they will—remember what Montessori guides practice daily: repair without shame.

“Today felt big. We both got tired. Let’s start fresh tomorrow.”


Step Five: Focus on Connection Over Performance

It’s easy to get caught up in how the holidays “should” look—perfect behavior, perfect meals, perfect family photos. But Montessori teaches us to look for what is real and meaningful instead.

Focus on:

  • Shared work: baking cookies, decorating, setting the table.
  • Practical life tasks that involve children, not entertain them.
  • Simple joys: reading by the tree, walking after dinner, lighting a candle together.

The goal isn’t a picture-perfect day, it’s presence.

Illustrated row of festive holiday houses decorated with trees and wreaths.

When You Feel the Pressure

At some point this season, someone will question your boundaries.
“Just let them stay up!”
“Come on, it’s one more cookie!”
“They’ll remember the fun, not the rules.”

Smile gently. You can simply say:
“We’ve found that keeping our rhythm helps everyone enjoy the day more.”

Boundaries rooted in respect are easier to hold. They aren’t reactive; they’re responsive. They come from knowing your child’s needs, and your own.

A Montessori Reminder for Parents

Children thrive in freedom within limits. Holidays test those limits, but they also reveal the power of consistency and love.

As you enter the season ahead, remember:

  • Predictability brings peace.
  • Preparation reduces stress.
  • Connection matters more than compliance.

Hold your boundaries with calm, grace, and trust in your child’s natural goodness.
Because the best holiday memories aren’t about how much you did.
They’re about how grounded, seen, and loved everyone felt.

This post Holding Boundaries During the Holidays: 5 Montessori Steps to Keep the Peace first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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The Five Minute Rule: Helping your child (and yourself) find calm again https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/the-five-minute-rule-helping-your-child-and-yourself-find-calm-again/ https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/the-five-minute-rule-helping-your-child-and-yourself-find-calm-again/#respond Tue, 14 Oct 2025 13:19:04 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=8912 Guidepost Montessori

The Five Minute Rule: Helping your child (and yourself) find calm again

When Little Things Feel Big The sock feels “wrong.” The cup is blue instead of green. You peeled the banana halfway, and now it’s ruined! Suddenly, your cheerful child is crying on the kitchen floor. Parenting small children means living at the intersection of love and chaos. One moment you are amazed by their independence, […]

This post The Five Minute Rule: Helping your child (and yourself) find calm again first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Guidepost Montessori

The Five Minute Rule: Helping your child (and yourself) find calm again

When Little Things Feel Big

The sock feels “wrong.”

The cup is blue instead of green.

You peeled the banana halfway, and now it’s ruined!

Suddenly, your cheerful child is crying on the kitchen floor.

Parenting small children means living at the intersection of love and chaos. One moment you are amazed by their independence, and the next you are wiping tears over the wrong color cup. In Montessori, we see these moments differently. Every meltdown, every stubborn “I do it myself,” is part of a child’s journey toward confidence and self-control. These experiences can help both you and your child find calm amidst the storms of parenting.

If you’ve been there—kneeling beside a small, sobbing child over something that seems so minor—you are not alone. These moments are among the most common in early childhood. They are not tantrums to fix; they are communication.

At Guidepost Montessori, we view these moments as opportunities for growth. They’re a chance for your child to learn emotional regulation, patience, and independence. And one of the simplest ways to nurture that learning at home is by giving your child the most precious thing you have to offer: time.

Why Small Frustrations Feel So Big

Between ages two and six, your child’s brain is developing faster than at any other time in life. Their emotions grow faster than their words, which means they often feel things they can’t yet explain. They crave independence—“I do it!”—but their coordination, attention, and executive function are still forming.

Add fatigue, hunger, overstimulation, or a new routine, and it’s easy to see why small frustrations can feel enormous.

In Montessori classrooms, we balance two essential needs:

  • Security: Predictable routines and consistent boundaries that help children feel safe.
  • Autonomy: Real choices, meaningful work, and freedom to explore within limits.

When these two are in harmony, children thrive. When they wobble, behavior tells the story.

The good news is that you can create this same balance at home.

Five Minutes to Try for the Child

The next time your child resists getting dressed, insists on pouring milk alone, or collapses when you try to help, pause and try this practice.

Your first instinct might be to jump in—to fix it, speed it up, or stop the crying. That’s normal. But growth happens when we resist that urge and allow space for effort.

Step 1: Give them five minutes to try.
Set a gentle timer. Take a breath. Step back. These five minutes belong entirely to your child—to practice, to experiment, and to make mistakes.

Step 2: Stay calm and present.
Resist the urge to correct or rush. Simply observe. Your presence tells your child, “You are safe, and I trust you.”

Step 3: End with encouragement, not evaluation.
If your child succeeds, celebrate effort, not perfection. If they struggle, honor persistence:

“You worked hard on that. You can try again later.”

The goal is not for your child to master the task perfectly. The goal is for them to believe they can. Those five minutes are powerful because they communicate:

“I trust you to figure this out.”

and

“I believe you can do hard things.”

Even if the task isn’t completed, the effort itself builds confidence, focus, and resilience.

Montessori parent and our VP of Marketing, Karolina Potterton, talks about this concept on Instagram.

It’s a simple yet powerful reminder of how our patience and presence as adults creates space for growth in our children.

What Happens in Those Five Minutes

At first glance, it may look like your child is simply fumbling with a zipper or struggling to balance a cup of water. But under the surface, profound development is taking place.

Your child is:

  • Strengthening fine motor coordination
  • Practicing sequencing and focus
  • Building frustration tolerance
  • Connecting effort with mastery

Each repetition rewires the brain toward resilience. What’s being built is not just skill, but identity. Every small success whispers, I am capable.

Five Minutes for the Adult

Five minutes can feel like a very long time when you’re running late or when your child is crying. The instinct to rush or fix is natural. But when you stay grounded, you create the environment your child needs to find calm.

Children rarely do what we say. They imitate what we do.

Here’s how to center yourself and model calm presence during those five minutes:

1. Breathe with intention.
Inhale deeply, exhale slowly, and let your shoulders drop. Before speaking, let your body demonstrate calm.

2. Narrate neutrally.
Describe what you see, without frustration.

“You’re working hard on that zipper.”

This helps your child feel seen rather than judged.

3. Stay close but hands-off.
Your steady presence offers security without interference. You’re nearby if needed but confident in their process.

4. Offer help respectfully.
When it’s time to step in, keep your language collaborative:

“Would you like me to help?”

Taking five minutes for yourself—to breathe, to stay patient, to choose calm—teaches more than any lecture. It tells your child: We can do hard things, together.

Expanding Emotional Regulation at Home

Beyond the five-minute practice, emotional growth depends on rhythm and connection. You don’t need complex systems, just simple, consistent habits.

1. Keep routines predictable.
Consistency lowers anxiety. Follow the same order: wake up, get dressed, eat, brush teeth, shoes, go. Even small changes can unsettle a young child.

2. Offer real choices.
Give meaningful control over small things.

“Do you want the red cup or the blue one?”

“Would you like to walk to the door or hop like a frog?”

3. Prioritize rest and nutrition.
Tired or hungry children cannot regulate. Keep bedtimes consistent and offer snacks rich in protein and water throughout the day.

4. Model calm problem-solving.
When something spills, say:

“That’s okay. We can clean it up and try again.”

Your child learns that frustration is part of learning.

When Everyone Has Lost Emotional Control of the Day

Even with patience and structure, some days simply fall apart. The cereal spills, the shoes won’t fit, and your child (or you) bursts into tears. You might feel like a “bad” parent. You are not. These moments are not failures; they are invitations for everyone to pause.

Start by noticing patterns:

  • Did your child sleep well?
  • Did you sleep well?
  • Have they eaten enough?
  • Did you eat enough?
  • Did the morning feel rushed or calm?

What looks like defiance is often exhaustion, hunger, or overstimulation.

When emotions begin to rise, return to your anchor: five minutes to try. Offer something familiar and achievable so your child regains a sense of control.

“You can brush your teeth and get ready for bed. I’ll be right here if you need help.”

This gives them structure and autonomy without pressure. While your child works, stay close. Do not take over, but do not walk away either. Co-regulation begins with your calm energy.

If frustration continues to grow, pause. Place your hand on your heart and say, “Let’s both take a breath.” Your steady energy teaches that strong feelings can be managed, not feared.

When calm returns, affirm effort:

“That felt hard, but you kept trying.”

If the day continues to wobble, slow down. Skip errands, choose rest, and simplify meals. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is stop and breathe.

These shared moments teach your child that connection doesn’t disappear when things are hard. Over time, your calm becomes their calm.

The Montessori Long View

Montessori parenting is not about perfection. It’s about practice. Every day offers another chance to return to calm, to effort, and to joy in small things.

Progress in emotional regulation is quiet. You might notice your child pause before crying, ask for another try, or recover more quickly after frustration. These are the signs that the work is taking root.

Overtime, you’ll start to see that the child who once cried over shoes becomes the one who quietly tries again and smiles, “I did it.”

And somewhere along the way, you’ll notice something else: the same calm you’ve been modeling now lives in you too.

This post The Five Minute Rule: Helping your child (and yourself) find calm again first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Karolina Potterton

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Why Your Toddler Melts Down (and What Actually Works) https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/why-your-toddler-melts-down/ Wed, 10 Sep 2025 20:20:04 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=8126 Guidepost Montessori

Why Your Toddler Melts Down (and What Actually Works)

Practical strategies for parenting toddlers ages 2–4: managing big emotions, setting limits, and teaching self-control with calm consistency Parenting in the Storm Parenting toddlers and young preschoolers can feel like living with a tiny storm. One moment your child is giggling, the next they are grabbing a toy, hugging a friend who isn’t ready, or […]

This post Why Your Toddler Melts Down (and What Actually Works) first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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Guidepost Montessori

Why Your Toddler Melts Down (and What Actually Works)

Practical strategies for parenting toddlers ages 2–4: managing big emotions, setting limits, and teaching self-control with calm consistency

Parenting in the Storm

Parenting toddlers and young preschoolers can feel like living with a tiny storm. One moment your child is giggling, the next they are grabbing a toy, hugging a friend who isn’t ready, or insisting on being first. These moments are intense. They test your patience, raise eyebrows in public, and leave you wondering if you are doing something wrong.

The truth is, nothing is wrong with your child. At ages two to four, children are still building the social and emotional skills adults take for granted. Impulse control, patience, and the ability to read another person’s cues are learned through repetition, not instinct. What looks like defiance is often a child practicing how to be human.

When you understand what is happening underneath the behavior, it becomes easier to respond with calm and consistency instead of fear or frustration.

Why Big Feelings Show Up

At this stage of development, children are driven by a deep need for connection and belonging. They want to be close, to be included, and to feel secure. But the skills to get there are still forming. A hug given at the wrong time, or a toy grabbed without asking, is not rudeness—it is a clumsy attempt at connection.

Transitions are another trigger. Whether it is moving from breakfast to putting on shoes or saying goodbye at childcare drop-off, change can feel overwhelming. Holding tight to objects or people is a way of finding comfort when the world feels uncertain.

There is also the matter of brain development. The prefrontal cortex, which helps regulate impulses and emotions, is only beginning its long process of growth at this age. Self-control is not fully formed until the teenage years, so toddlers often “borrow” our calm until they can generate their own.

And then there is simple overload. Fatigue, noise, or overstimulation erodes the little bit of self-regulation children are building. The meltdown in the grocery store may not be about the cereal box at all. It may just be the last straw in a day that already felt too big.

Finally, young children test limits. They push to see if the boundaries are real. When limits hold steady, children feel safer. When they wobble from day to day, children push harder, because they need to know where the ground truly is.

The Principles That Help

Once you understand the reasons behind the behavior, the response becomes clearer.

  • Connect first. A calm look, a gentle hand on the shoulder, or a steady voice lets your child know they are safe.
  • Hold limits. Boundaries may feel stern to adults, but to children they are a relief. “We keep hands gentle” said in the same words every time is grounding.
  • Stay consistent. Repetition builds trust. Over time, external rules become internal self-control.
  • Repair, not shame. Help your child make it right: “You pushed. Let’s check on your friend and bring the toy back.” Repair teaches responsibility better than punishment.

Before Responding, Center Yourself

Before you guide your child, guide yourself. Children learn less from what you say and more from what you model.

Think of yourself as the emotional anchor in the room. If you meet grabbing hands with shouting, your child learns that shouting is how we respond to stress. If you take a breath, lower your shoulders, and speak calmly, your child learns that strong feelings can be handled with steadiness.

This is not easy work. No parent stays perfectly calm in the face of meltdowns. But even a small pause—three deep breaths, a sip of water, or simply reminding yourself “I am the adult here”—changes the interaction.

Children do not do as we say; they do as we do. If you want your child to use gentle hands, show gentleness in your own actions. If you want them to repair mistakes, let them see you apologize.

When you start here, the rest of the strategies become not just advice, but lived practice.

Practical Tools for Everyday Life

Children need short, consistent guidance that combines empathy with clear rules. These tools help:

  • Return with grace. If a toy is grabbed, calmly guide it back. “Hands gentle. Let’s give it back and ask for a turn.”
  • Name and hold. Acknowledge the feeling while keeping the limit steady. “You really want it now. Waiting is hard. It will be your turn when your friend is done.”
  • Offer two choices. Real but simple options work best. “You may wait with me or choose another toy.”
  • Lean on rhythm. Predictable mornings, meals, and bedtimes lower the emotional load and reduce testing.
  • Model patience. Show what it looks like to wait, to take turns, to use gentle hands. Children learn more from your actions than your words.
  • Guide repair. When mistakes happen, support the follow-through. “You pushed. Let’s check on your friend and bring the toy back.”
  • Use steady words. Repeat the same phrases so your child can internalize them: “Hands gentle.” “Stop means stop.” “My turn next.”

Everyday Words That Work

Scripts can feel repetitive, but children thrive on repetition. Here are phrases that reinforce the tools above:

  • For grabbing: “Hands are for gentle work. Give it back. Try, ‘Can I have a turn when you’re done?’”
  • For unwanted affection: “Stop means stop. Let’s try a high five or a wave.”
  • For insisting: “You want it now. Waiting is hard. It will be your turn after the timer. While you wait, you may sit with me or choose a book.”

These are not instant fixes. They are consistent guideposts. Each time you use them, you are laying down tracks in your child’s mind for how to act next time.

What Works in Group Settings

At home, you can manage one or two children. In classrooms, playdates, or family gatherings, the challenges multiply. Yet the principles stay the same.

  • Prepare transitions. Give a five-minute warning before leaving the park.
  • Double up on favorites. Having two of the most-loved toy reduces battles.
  • Keep limits short. “We keep bodies safe.” “The toy stays with its owner.”
  • Practice in calm moments. Role-play asking for turns and saying stop, not just in conflict.
  • Connect before correcting. Eye contact or a steady hand signals safety before redirection.
  • Give purpose. Invite your child to pour water, tidy a shelf, or help a younger sibling.
  • Notice effort. “You waited your turn. That helped your friend finish.”

Partnering With the Adults in Your Child’s Life

Children learn faster when the adults around them use the same language and uphold the same limits. That means grandparents, babysitters, teachers, and family friends.

  • From you: Share what helps—bedtime struggles, stressors, phrases you use, and how your child calms.
  • From others: Ask for steady boundaries and brief updates. Even small consistency across homes and schools accelerates learning.

Most importantly, find your own voice as a parent. When you confidently hold limits with warmth, others naturally follow your lead. Your steadiness gives your child security.

The Bigger Picture

Every behavior is communication. Grabbing, pushing, insisting—these are signals that your child is overwhelmed by a feeling too big to manage alone.

Progress is rarely linear. Sometimes behavior gets louder before it softens. This is your child checking if the limit is real. Stay steady for two weeks before you decide if an approach is working.

Parenting toddlers is not about eliminating every conflict. It is about showing up consistently, modeling calm, and guiding repair. Over time, children begin to believe two powerful truths: “My feelings are safe” and “The limits are real.” These truths grow into patience, empathy, and resilience.

Bringing It All Together

Parenting toddlers and preschoolers is demanding. It asks you to be calm when you feel anything but, to stay consistent when you are tired, and to repeat the same words again and again.

Yet in these repeated acts, you are shaping something lasting. You are showing your child how to handle frustration, respect others, and repair mistakes. You are teaching the foundation of kindness and capability.

Big feelings are not failures. They are the training ground. With gentle hands, clear words, and steady presence, you and your child will make it through the storm together and you will both come out stronger.

Remember, you’ve got this!

This post Why Your Toddler Melts Down (and What Actually Works) first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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How to Choose a Montessori Bed https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/choose-montessori-bed/ Thu, 05 Oct 2023 03:34:32 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=8294 Guidepost Montessori

How to Choose a Montessori Bed

In this short guide, we will walk you through what a Montessori bed is and why you might consider choosing one for your young child. A recent surge of interest in the Montessori Method, coupled with increased time spent working and learning remotely, means parents are becoming more interested in setting up Montessori-aligned home environments for their […]

This post How to Choose a Montessori Bed first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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Guidepost Montessori

How to Choose a Montessori Bed

In this short guide, we will walk you through what a Montessori bed is and why you might consider choosing one for your young child.

A recent surge of interest in the Montessori Method, coupled with increased time spent working and learning remotely, means parents are becoming more interested in setting up Montessori-aligned home environments for their children. One topic that has got a lot of people talking is Montessori beds. In this short guide, we’ll walk you through what a Montessori bed is, why you might consider putting one in your child’s bedroom, and offer a selection of places where they are available for purchase.

What is a Montessori bed?

First things first — technically, there’s no such thing as a “Montessori bed.” Instead, there are beds inspired by the general principles that make up the Montessori Method. The inventor of the method, Dr. Maria Montessori, believed that children thrive when given the freedom to move and learn independently. So, generally speaking, a Montessori bed is a mattress without restrictive railings around it, close enough to the floor so that the child can get in and out of it by himself.

If we apply this philosophy to the Montessori-inspired bedroom, floor beds are the ideal choice. The common alternative of cribs and bassinets restrict a child’s ability to move freely. What does “freely” mean within the context of a crib? If you think about it, kids can move around in cribs; they have some degree of freedom. However, an infant or toddler is confined to their sleep space when in a crib, which keeps them dependent on an adult to help them out when they are ready to move, to play, to engage, or practice self-care skills that the entirety of their bedroom is supposed to offer. The early years are a time when physical movement is so important for children, and choosing to use a floor bed can encourage them to continue practising their gross motor movements.

Are Montessori floor beds safe for my child?

While it can be scary to think of leaving your child alone without anything holding them in during sleep time, floor beds have many benefits that do not compromise safety, so long as a few extra considerations are given to “child proof” the entirety of the bedroom. Before introducing a floor bed, parents should get low to the ground at the child’s level and remove potential hazards that would be within the child’s reach, such as covering outlets, removing wires, and securing furniture to the walls.

Once the entire room transforms into a safe space for the child, making the switch to a floor bed offers immediate benefits. Without the restrictions of crib slats or the walls of a bassinet, children are free to visually observe more of their environment, make larger movements that their bodies naturally crave, and can successfully get out of their own beds when they feel the need to. This trust for autonomy helps satisfy the young child’s need for independence, which boosts their confidence — and to the parent’s mutual benefit — minimizes power struggles.

Once your child is more mobile and can walk, they can wake up and move around by themselves to address their needs, whether that be to use the restroom, to retrieve a sip of water, or just to communicate that they need a parent’s comfort. This freedom is something that might frighten parents, but when given with healthy limits and safe boundaries, many parents find that this freedom promotes calm and respect. The ability to move around the bedroom prevents children suffering from, as Dr. Montessori put it, “mental starvation,” which means they tend to cry less during the night.

As for the big question: what if my child rolls off the bed? There’s a good chance it will happen, but since floor beds are so close to the ground, the likelihood of your child injuring themselves is lower than you may think. If you are worried about this, we’d suggest starting out with a mattress-only approach and choosing one that is very low to the ground. The other thing to remember is that this acts as a learning experience in different ways for your child. They’ll realize what happens if they get close to the edge of the bed and will be far less likely to repeat it. But they’ll also begin to learn how to safely get down from heights.

Where can I buy a floor bed for my child’s Montessori bedroom?

There’s no right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding whether or not a Montessori-style bed is right for your child. However, should you wish to purchase one, we’ve rounded up a selection of beds that fit the bill. You’ll notice we’ve included a few ‘house bed’ options and wanted to stress that what makes these Montessori-aligned are the low, accessible frames. The house-style is merely a fun bonus.

Montessori floor bed options for children under 3 years of age:

DIY or use an existing mattress

Our first suggestion is not to go out and purchase a Montessori-style bed, but rather, look around your home and see if you already have a mattress you can repurpose. In many cases, you can remove the mattress from your child’s crib if you have one and use that as a starting point. Other times, parents will use spare mattresses to trial the floor bed for their child. The point we’re trying to make is, you don’t have to run out and buy a top-of-the-line Montessori-style bed. Work with what you have.


IKEA Minnesund Folding Foam Mattress

As noted above, placing a mattress on the ground is a great, low-cost way to start experimenting with Montessori beds. This option from Ikea is affordable and quite low, making it a good one to start with.

Sprout Kids Montessori Bed for Children

This option from Sprout Kids is a great starter option, as it’s compact and easy to assemble.

Etsy – Busywood Montessori Toddler Montessori Bed

There are a lot of wonderful low beds available on Etsy. This one is a great option if you are making the transition from crib to bed for your toddler and want something with a bit of a safety rail.

Etsy – Bash & Timber Montessori Bed

Similar to the Etsy option listed above, this one lacks a house-style frame, but has a small safety rail built around it.

Woodly Store Beds

Woodly is a company that makes a range of Montessori-inspired beds, among other things. They’re based in Italy, but they ship to the United States and other international countries.

Wayfair Sweedi Toddler Bed

This house bed made from natural wood is styled in a way to help babies make the move from crib to grown-up bed. Young children feel “cocooned” – and comforted – inside this roof structure and the neutral, minimal design goes with everything.

Montessori floor bed options for children over 3 years of age:

5 Little Monkeys Sleep System – Mattress + Pillow + Mattress Protector

One of the pricier options on the list, 5 Little Monkeys offers eco-friendly mattresses and bedding for the whole family. We love that this one comes complete with a pillow and mattress protector.

Coco Village House Bed

This minimalist style house bed from Coco Village is made from wood and available in a range of colours.

This post How to Choose a Montessori Bed first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/beginners-guide-gentle-parenting/ Wed, 05 Oct 2022 04:30:52 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=8319 Guidepost Montessori

A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting

If the term ‘gentle parenting’ is new to you, you aren’t alone. In this beginner’s guide, we’ll introduce you to the gentle parenting approach and explain how you can try it out in your everyday family life Choosing a parenting style isn’t necessarily a conscious decision we make when we become parents. Often, a parenting […]

This post A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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Guidepost Montessori

A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting

If the term ‘gentle parenting’ is new to you, you aren’t alone. In this beginner’s guide, we’ll introduce you to the gentle parenting approach and explain how you can try it out in your everyday family life

Choosing a parenting style isn’t necessarily a conscious decision we make when we become parents. Often, a parenting style trickles down from our own experiences growing up. Some may want to imitate the unique strengths their own parents modelled. Others may use their childhood experience as a blueprint for what to avoid in a parenting style today.

One of the most meaningful qualities of gentle parenting is its emphasis on reflection. Reflecting on the compassion with which you treat your child is at the heart of this approach. There is no shortage of parenting styles to consider, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. If gentle parenting is new to you, this beginner’s guide can help walk you through what it’s all about to see if it is a fit for your family.

What is Gentle Parenting?

Gentle parenting is a parenting approach that encourages a partnership between you and your child to make choices based on an internal willingness instead of external pressures. This parenting style asks you to become aware of the behaviour you model for your child, encourages compassion, welcomes emotions and accepts the child as a whole, capable being.

The approach doesn’t follow a strict set of rules. It wasn’t created by a lifestyle or parenting guru, nor does it stem from a celebrity fad. The gentle parenting philosophy includes a wide variety of strategies that may already be familiar to you. Sarah Ockwell-Smith, parenting expert and author of The Gentle Parenting Book, sums up gentle parenting in three words: empathy, understanding, and respect.

Common Misunderstandings About Gentle Parenting

It’s easy to think of the gentle parenting philosophy as boundary-free. Parents can be apprehensive to embrace a gentler approach because they might be concerned with losing control. They worry it could lead to their child being unable to identify what is or isn’t out of bounds for their safety and their treatment of themselves and others. While it’s a valid concern, parents can rest assured that gentle parenting doesn’t avoid discipline or boundaries.

Remember that encouraging a partnership between the parent and the child is the goal of this approach. Arbitrary anger and commands are discouraged, such as repeatedly justifying demands with “because I told you so.” In their place, gentle parents send messages that not only set boundaries but leave a long-term impact. Children are told that they have a partner in their parent that will keep them safe and are encouraged to learn from the situation.

In this case, a parent establishing expectations for a day at the park might say “we are going to stay safe by playing in this area where we can both see one another. We can check if we are too far by waving at each other and making sure the other person waves back.”

How Gentle Parenting and Montessori Fit Together

Gentle parenting has several things in common with the Montessori method. To start, both encourage the child to take responsibility for themselves. Gentle parenting takes guiding your child towards independence to an emotional level. Children are invited to explore their emotions, and parents consistently model accepting their child’s experience, which teaches children how to manage their feelings.

For example, a gentle parent will not impulsively try to stop a frustrated child from crying. Instead, they’ll remain calm to show the child they can safely experience their negative emotions. They might honor the child’s experience by telling them, “I can see you have strong feelings right now. Let’s sit here together and take some deep breaths.” When parents don’t immediately try to eliminate their child’s negative feelings, children feel accepted and learn to recognize the full spectrum of emotions as natural. They also learn to manage them in a peaceful and nurturing environment, building resilience against a flood of what would otherwise be deemed “negative” emotions.

Both gentle parenting and Montessori also use adults as guides rather than authoritative figures who dole out arbitrary commands. Both approaches also place emphasis on keen observation. In Montessori, we notice what interests our students to create a nurturing environment. Similarly, gentle parents pay close attention to how their children react to problems and use empathy to identify their child’s needs.

The 3 Facets of Gentle Parenting

A practical way of looking at gentle parenting is to see it as a practice of remembering certain intuitive truths. For example, we know that children learn by watching their parents. We know that our child is their own person, and we want them to feel loved for who they are. Seeing how empathy, understanding, and respect fit into gentle parenting can give you a better idea of how to try it yourself.

Empathy

Making an effort to be mindful of how your child feels in their moment of need is the equivalent of turning off auto-pilot mode. It’s easy to get swept up in the routine of everyday family life. Making a habit of pausing to empathize with your child will give you better access to what the present situation requires. It also shows children how to treat others with care and compassion.

For example, when a child is upset or nervous, a parent can become curious about what is behind the child’s behaviour. They can try to look for what their child needs at that moment and find out why. Empathy is a powerful reminder to slow down and engage with what your child is dealing with.

Understanding

The understanding piece of gentle parenting comes down to making a practice of remembering that a child is a child. Their world is vastly different from that of adults. It is a reminder that all of the thought patterns that color the grown-up perspective have not yet developed in children.

For example, when children are upset by the toy they misplaced, or their stay at the park is ending before they’re ready to go, ask yourself where this behaviour is coming from. Remember that your child’s emotional maturity is still developing. By acknowledging that a child’s behaviour is appropriate for their developmental stage, parents allow children to explore their reactions, emotions, or thoughts in a safe and nurturing space.

Respect

Gentle parenting is based on mutual respect, something that has far-reaching effects. It wouldn’t make sense to hope that a child grows up into an adult who respects others when being respected wasn’t modelled for them at a young age. Parents who show their child respect are also showing them that it is a choice. Respect is connected to their values, which will develop by seeing positive role models around them. In day-to-day life, respecting your child in practice means swapping gentle requests for harsh commands, and extending invitations for partnership in lieu of fear-based warnings.

How to Incorporate Gentle Parenting in Your Everyday Life

The following tips can help you start incorporating gentle parenting into your everyday life:

  • Comment on the action, not the person. Try to separate the action from the child when you speak. It’s the difference between responding with “You’re mean to your sister” and replacing it with “I don’t think your sister likes it when you do that. Let’s try something else and see how she responds.” This helps to emphasize that mistakes happen to all of us, but they don’t define who we are. They’re a natural part of life and of learning and shouldn’t trigger shame as we practice doing the right things.
  • Model all kinds of kindness. Use kindness towards yourself to show your child how to be curious and compassionate about their own emotions. If you’re tired, use the opportunity to share what self-care looks like to you. You can say, “Oh boy, I am tired today. A nice shower will make me feel more rested, and I will go to bed earlier tonight”. You’ll also be modelling how your child can treat themselves and others in times of need.
  • Swap commands for an invitation to work together. This can be as simple as changing the format of your demand to a question that encourages your child to work collaboratively with you. While a demand might sound like “Tie your shoes”, a gentle parenting alternative would ask, “Should we tie our shoes so we don’t trip?”
  • Encourage the positive action. There are plenty of alternatives to saying no. Gentle parenting means you choose to set clear boundaries and underline what you are asking of your child. Limit your request to focus on the action you do want to encourage. Demands not to touch something can be communicated by saying things like “Let’s use gentle hands on this” or even “This one is just for looking”.

We hope this overview has helped you to better understand the gentle parenting approach. The strategies above can help you get started, and if gentle parenting is something you’d like to learn more about, we’d suggest picking up a copy of Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s The Gentle Parenting Book and visiting her website.

This post A Beginner’s Guide to Gentle Parenting first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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Montessori for Babies: A Complete Beginner’s Guide https://guidepostmontessori.com/blog/montessori-for-babies-complete-beginners-guide/ Wed, 05 Oct 2022 04:15:29 +0000 https://guidepostmontessori.com/?p=8298 Guidepost Montessori

Montessori for Babies: A Complete Beginner’s Guide

In this guide, we give a comprehensive overview of which Montessori principles can be applied from birth and bring both immediate and long-term benefits.

This post Montessori for Babies: A Complete Beginner’s Guide first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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Guidepost Montessori

Montessori for Babies: A Complete Beginner’s Guide

This guide provides a comprehensive overview of which Montessori principles can be applied from birth and why they’re beneficial

Today, more families are discovering Montessori as a means to support children’s development with an evidence-based lens, adopting principles that prioritize respectful communication, meaningful engagement, and independence. In this guide, we will give a comprehensive overview of which Montessori principles can be applied from birth and why these principles bring both immediate and long-term benefits.

What is Montessori

Montessori is a 150-year-old method of education that is growing around the world to this day. Its founder, Dr. Maria Montessori, was a practicing physician, scientist, and educator. Her work dispelled the notion that children are “formed beings” ready to reel-off knowledge bestowed upon them by an all-knowing adult. Furthermore, she found that children acquire and retain knowledge far more meaningfully when the adult is no longer leading that exchange. Instead, she advocated for us to “follow the child” after uncovering how capable children are when provided with an environment that activates their curiosity, agency, and concentration. 

She believed the first 24 years of life were crucial to support children in becoming well-adjusted citizens of their time and place. She called on parents and educators to more deeply respect learning as the natural process that it is – one that “must begin at birth.”

Why Montessori from Birth

To understand Montessori from birth, we must let go of traditional attitudes towards education. This is a model that honors learning as it intersects with living, where the goal is to help each child realize their full potential.

The education of even a small child, therefore, does not aim at preparing him for school, but for life. – Maria Montessori ”

Babies are wired to learn through their senses: the scent of mom, the sound of the birds, the sight of bright lights, and the touch of the grass. Montessori advocated for us to recognize this sensorial processing with greater awe and intent. While it is true that babies are heavily dependent on our caregiving – from one diaper change and feeding to the next – it is also true that they are astonishingly capable. We see this with the rapid development of expressive language and movement skills – going from supine to walking, crying to speaking, all at their own lead.

The “why” is simply the acknowledgment that we as parents have a crucial role in our baby’s development – one that supports their capabilities, not just their dependencies. It’s not just our children who stand to gain; we do too. By learning how our children learn, we empower ourselves to move away from reactive overwhelm to proactive connection – achieving a state of peace, love, purpose, and respect.

The Role of a Montessori Parent

Montessori addressed parents during the 1930s when her method grew in popularity. 

It is tremendously important that we should understand the spontaneous way in which the child develops himself. We are so anxious to help, to us it seems the burden of growth and development is so great that we must do all we can to make the pathway easy. And so, our love may easily overreach itself, and by providing too many urges, too many cautions and corrections, turn the child from the natural path of his development and cause his energy to be diverted. – From the article collection Maria Montessori Speaks to Parents”

This still resonates. Offering our support with respect to a child’s agency is a timeless balancing act. Our role is to guide, not to direct. 

Applying Montessori Principles at Birth

To better understand how babies are capable, we must acknowledge the human tendencies that Montessori wrote about. These are natural drives we all have, such as our most basic need for safety. But there are more that we experience from birth: orientation, association with others, communication, exploration. Our babies are biologically wired to adapt to their surroundings by acting on these drives that help them make sense of the world.

Montessori also discovered two distinct abilities of early childhood that work in tandem with these natural drives: the absorbent mind and the sensitive learning periods – both of which occur at birth but only until the age of six.

1. The Absorbent Mind: Infants and young children share a time-sensitive “absorbent mind,” where the capacity to learn is as effortless as it will ever be. Often compared to a sponge, babies can soak up knowledge around them just by being in their environment. Conscious learning doesn’t kick in until around age three, and before that, we are “unconscious learners.” We can’t remember learning during this time, but we know that it is foundational.

The things he sees are not just remembered; they form a part of his soul. – Maria Montessori”

2. Sensitive Periods: These are times of intense interest in acquiring particular skills, like language, order, movement, and social relations. During these windows, babies and young children are intrinsically driven to master related skills. If we overreach with our own agendas or miss these windows, it can make learning – and parenting – harder than it needs to be. 

Thus, when we talk about treating our babies as capable, this is what we mean. The power to learn comes from within – it’s not on us to lead. 

Baby’s First Prepared Environment

If practicing Montessori is about respect for the child, and not the stuff, why is the Prepared Environment such a focal point? The Prepared Environment is the Montessori way of intentionally setting up a child’s space so that the child can feel purposeful, capable and connected.

Young children are constantly getting feedback from their surroundings. If your workspace is calm and organized, you feel more focused. The same relationship exists for babies and children but with even greater sensitivity due to their absorbent minds. Hence, preparing their space purposefully – free of excess and with a clear invitation for self-discovery – is the cornerstone for practicing Montessori. 

This often gets conflated with needing to buy stuff, which is a misconception. Your baby’s first Prepared Environment is a framework to help them orient, explore, and act on those inner drives. You can achieve this goal without materialistic items. 

A prepared Montessori space facilitates: 

  • Freedom within limits: the room is safe and accessible so that the child can be independent.
  • Structure and order: the room is uncluttered, logical and age-appropriate so that they can orient to their surroundings and concentrate.
  • Reality, nature, and beauty: the room is interesting, and it does not relegate the child to “pretend only,” but showcases elements of the real world.

A Montessori Nursery

Unlike a traditional nursery designed around the parents, a Montessori nursery is designed around the baby. Many Montessori families leave open floor space where the baby can safely play and move, rather than filling the walls with adult-sized furniture. Artwork and mobiles are lowered to the baby’s eye level. Even the sleep surface is lowered, with preference given to a floor bed in place of a crib. 

A Montessori nursery is a flexible space that evolves with the baby’s capabilities. It typically entails:

  • A floor bed
  • Muted, calm colors
  • Artwork hung low (with imagery that reflects reality)
  • A rug or play mat for floor time
  • A low mirror for visibility of the room and eventual care of self
  • A basket or front-facing display for books

Freedom of Movement

We also need to prepare for baby’s wakeful space. While baby gear is the default today, it is too restrictive for their developing mobility. From birth, the desire to move is purposeful and is one of the sensitive learning periods. Motor milestones progress from head to toe as part of the body’s development with the nervous system. Though this process occurs naturally, cultivating opportunities for babies to move helps them gain related strength and coordination.

There are benefits to free movement beyond motor skills. Instead of placing baby into something that offers the same experience every time, like a jumper, you place baby in an open, but defined space called a movement area. Here, the baby gets to choose how to move and what to explore, all within the safe limits of what you’ve made available.

This self-directed exploration means the baby is an active participant – not just a passive observer. This builds their confidence and ability to concentrate, planting the seeds for independent play, thus, better supporting a parent’s need to be “hands free” in the long run. They internalize the message, “I can do this,” when we respect their first moments of play as their own. 

A Note on Clothing:

In the womb, babies have free access to their hands and feet. Instead of immediately swaddling baby down, covering their hands with mittens and feet with socks, we can skip those restrictive clothing items all together. The outfits we choose throughout all stages of their motor development should be practical and properly fitting. Non-restrictive clothing minimizes frustration with their first movements and sets them up for success with respect to freedom of movement. If we place our baby down at a time when they are working to crawl, for example, but they are wearing a dress that catches their knees, then we have added an obstacle for them. Too many obstacles can lower their self-motivation. 

A Montessori Baby Registry 

A Montessori-compatible baby registry looks different than a traditional baby registry. The point of considering alternatives to purchase is to support free movement, independence, and meaningful engagement – but these purchases are not required to practice Montessori.

Some common items found on a Montessori baby registry include: 

Topponcino: This is a thin, flat infant security pillow. Its purpose is to aid in the baby’s transition from womb to world. Consider how many different places a baby will go after birth –– from dad’s arms to a changing pad, bassinet, pediatrician’s office. These surfaces are unfamiliar and can be startling. This pillow helps the baby acclimate with a warm, consistent touch. 

Movement Area: Montessori families will define a space in the home where baby can move freely as an alternative to baby gear. This consists of:

  • A low shelf or baskets to hold toys
  • A mirror to give visibility of the room
  • A mat or rug to define the space. It’s helpful for the rug to be solid in color or with a simple pattern so that the baby can better focus on the toys that will end up on it
  • A wall hook or play gym to hang mobiles

Montessori Mobiles: Montessori visual and tactile mobiles support baby’s developing vision and coordination skills during the first four months. While a traditional mobile is offered as a stationary decoration – out of reach over the crib – the Montessori mobiles are seen as baby’s first work. They are offered at the baby’s level during wakeful periods, generally in their movement area and separate from their sleep space.

The Truth About Montessori Baby Toys 

Montessori developed learning materials that had specific characteristics to emphasize hands-on, self-directed exploration in the classroom, but the modern spin of “Montessori toys” is driven by consumerism and isn’t always authentic to principles of the pedagogy. That said, there are certain qualities you can look for that will support a Montessori approach with baby’s first play:

  1. Is it an “active” or “passive” toy? Montessori-aligned toys are “passive” in order to promote activity, as opposed to being “active” and promoting passive entertainment. Battery-operated, tech-enabled toys, for example, often ask the child to sit and watch – making the child an observer. The child should be the one playing; not the toy.
  2. Does it isolate the senses? Montessori found it important to isolate sensory experiences, not combine them. Toys like busy boards or activity centers that have multiple components can be overstimulating. The less busy something is, the deeper your child will be able to engage – just like how we close our eyes when trying to smell a flower.
  3. Is it realistic? Toys and books largely emphasize fantasy and cartoon-like imagery, but Montessori found that young children craved a strong exposure to reality due to those biological drives aimed at orientation.
  4. Is it breakable? Wood, metal, and even breakable glass are preferred over plastic. Montessori found that children more readily care for their belongings when given responsibility to do so. When we shield them from the natural consequences of damaging something, we also minimize the learning opportunity to respect valuables. 

Baby Milestones to Know

Knowing what to expect in the first year can help both you and your baby thrive.

0-3 Months:

A newborn sleeps up to 18 hours in a 24-hour period, with no circadian rhythm to distinguish night from day. At birth, your baby’s movements are driven by automatic reflexes, and vision is limited. Crying and fussiness will peak around month two, but by three months, emerging rhythms bring more stability, as well as exciting new capabilities from improved vision and stronger motor skills.

What you can do: It can be helpful to think of those absorbent minds and simplify baby’s first experiences to prevent over stimulation.

  • Offer high-contrast imagery and the Montessori visual mobile series, with understanding that engagement may only be a few minutes at first.
  • By the end of this period, you may notice their ability to engage lasts longer. Try not to interrupt their increasing concentration. 
  • Slow down your daily movements. Looking at your face, listening to your voice, and studying home surroundings is likely far more interesting than any structured activity or toy. 

3-6 months:

Play emerges! Your baby can move with more intent and coordination. They can see greater distances and may enjoy bright colors and complex patterns. They can intentionally hold, grasp, and bring objects to their mouth. Toys like rattles, grasping beads, and various tactile items are ideal for practicing their new movements. Babies at this age also thrive with more predictable daily routines. 

What you can do: Offer plenty of time and open space for uninterrupted movement. 

  • Replace visual mobiles with more challenging tactile mobiles, such as the “wooden ring on a ribbon” where they track and grasp the ring. 
  • They may express frustration when a toy or object of interest rolls just out of reach. Allow them time to reach it if they show determination rather than eliminating the challenge too quickly.
  • Let them choose toys by placing options within their reach, rather than assuming what they want and bringing it to them.

6-9 months:

Sensorial learning booms during these months, thanks to big strides in gross and fine motor development. Babies will often begin to sit unassisted. They can see better too, as their vision is almost comparable to an adult’s. By eight to nine months, babies gain more precise use of their fingers with the “pincer grasp,” or the ability to pick up objects with the thumb and index finger. Despite these strides, they may also react more cautiously with the onset of separation anxiety. 

What you can do: Refresh and evolve their space to allow for increasingly challenging movements. 

  • Cushions or floor poufs can invite a new spin on gross motor movement, as well as a Montessori pull-up bar where they can begin to reach, pull up, and eventually stand.
  • By eight to nine months, you can introduce toys that invite them to use both hands and engage in more hand-eye coordination, as well as toys that offer “object permanence,” or the notion that something still exists even if it goes behind, into, or under something else. The Montessori “object permanence box” satisfies this by inviting the baby to push a wooden ball through a hole at the top, only to find that the ball reappears at the bottom.
  • Per your baby’s readiness, you can introduce first sips of water in a weaning glass as well as first solid foods.

9-12 months:

Your baby’s drive for independence is increasingly apparent, and their fast-developing mobility is a reminder that toddlerhood isn’t too far around the corner. Many babies will be able to stand, crawl and even take their first steps during these months, while also taking strides in self-feeding skills with meals. Communication feels much more two-way, and they reciprocate socially with gestures like pointing, waving, clapping, and speaking first words. 

What you can do: A baby on the move signals baby-proofing! This is a great time to evaluate overall inclusion in the family and ensure that they have new freedoms, not just limits. Where you may have a shelf or baskets prepared, the notion of a Montessori work cycle likely won’t be of interest until at least 18 months old.

  • Their defined movement area becomes less important now that they are mobile, so consider ways to safely include them beyond that area. 
  • Ensure that their environment has not grown overstimulating now that they can reach things more readily. If they are dumping or beginning destructive behaviors, it may be a sign that too much is available. 
  • Cultivate ways for them to connect directly with the real, natural world while they are in this heightened stage of sensorial learning.

How to Engage with Your Baby 

How we connect with our children is just as important as how they connect to their environment. There are several Montessori principles that can guide our interactions – ensuring we are not authoritatively overriding but also not permissively overlooking.

Observation 

By pausing intentionally to notice our babies in different moments throughout the day, we will better understand where they are in their development. When do they seem ready to sleep? When do they seem most eager to move? Are they more interested in kicking their legs or batting their arms? What seems to frustrate them? What catches their interest? This kind of curiosity is the crux of following the child, as opposed to building your days together in a top-down, adult-led manner. 

  • Observation: “I noticed you started opening and closing your hand this week, and so I’m going to offer you this rattle now that I know you can grasp.”

Encouragement

Montessori emphasizes encouragement in place of praise. Praise is an external motivator, where the child grows accustomed to seeking outside approval on work that they’ve done. Re-phrasing our excitement over their work in a way that focuses on their effort fosters self-motivation. We can encourage our babies even if they aren’t able to talk yet. 

  • Praise: “Good job crawling!”
  • Encouragement: “I saw how determined you were to move across the room! You must feel strong!”

Cooperation and Consent

Montessori invites us to emphasize our baby’s capabilities by treating caregiving needs as something we do with them, not as something that happens to them. When your baby is a newborn, this starts with slowing down and saying out loud what you are doing. As they get older, you can invite their participation and seek consent in what happens to their body.

  • “I see you are crying, and I noticed that your diaper is wet. Let’s go to your changing mat. I’m going to take off your dirty diaper. Now, let’s put a clean, dry diaper back on.” 
  • “Would you like to help get dressed by pulling up your own pants?
  • “May I pick you up?”
  • “Would you like to try more sweet potato?” 

Honest and Factual

Since we know our babies and young children are working overtime to analyze how the world works, we do not communicate with explanations that seek to distract, redirect, or “dumb down” the information available.  

  • “We are going to the doctor. Today, you will be getting a shot. It will feel like a poke on your skin. I will be next to you and can hold you when the nurse is done.” 

Real, rich language

Since they are in a sensitive window for language, we intentionally use clear pronunciation and do not shy away from big words or rich descriptions. We would also avoid nicknames for body parts and everyday vocabulary, which only serves to confuse them.

  • Water is not “wawa,” it is “water.” 

A Note on Sleep

There is no specific Montessori way to approach sleep, but we can proceed with principles of respectful communication, structured routines and age-appropriate independence. In our Nido communities, Montessori guides observe sleep queues to help transition babies from play to sleep, and careful attention is given to preparing a calm sleep space. A baby is not trained to “cry it out,” because the concept of independence in Montessori is not adult-constructed – it follows the child’s readiness by meeting their individual needs. 

A Note on Introducing Solids

You can support independence with meals from the first bite! Here’s how to setup a Montessori mealtime environment:

  • A weaning table and chair. This is smaller than a toddler table and chair set, specifically designed for babies as young as six months old.
  • If you prefer a highchair, consider one designed with steps where your child can eventually climb in and out independently.
  • Try pull-over bibs instead of ones that snap or Velcro so that your baby can do it as they’re capable.
  • Introduce open cups for baby’s first sips of water.
  • Offer breakable plates and real silverware to provide the child feedback on how to use and care for these. It is okay to wait to introduce breakables until you feel ready to calmly guide the use of these.

When introducing food, the focus should be self-feeding rather than controlled feeding. Babies can learn to use a spoon independently, and they should have a say over what and how much goes into their bodies. They are allowed to dislike something, and they should not have to finish a serving if they are expressing that they are done. 

A Note on Standup Diapering

When your baby can stand, you can try standup diapering! This is simply a way of more intentionally involving baby in care of self. You can define a space, preferably in the bathroom as part of their association with toilet learning, where you consistently bring them to change. Baby can stand against a wall or hold onto a small pull-up bar, and they can help un-dress, clean and re-dress. It’s helpful to have a low mirror, as well as a small trash can where they can place the dirty diaper.

In Montessori, learning to use the toilet is something that culminates after plenty of time spent gaining various self-care skills – which begins as a baby with steps to participate like this. These steps are not offered all at once, but rather, match the baby’s current capabilities and interests. For example, a baby who just mastered standing may simply stand and watch in a mirror, but by 12 months, they may be ready to do additional steps like helping to undress.

Where to Learn More

The Prepared Montessorian Courses:

When all of these elements come together, Montessori from birth becomes less of an external thing we “add” and simply an intrinsic way of life. It fuses our love and adoration for our children with a deep respect and understanding for who they are as individuals. It gives us as new parents the means to keep learning, while giving our children trust to discover for themselves.

To understand the child as a creative power, to realize that he is psychologically different from us, to perceive that his need is different from ours is a step forward for all human aspirations and prepares a loftier level for social life.” – Maria Montessori”

This post Montessori for Babies: A Complete Beginner’s Guide first appeared on Guidepost Montessori and is written by Lu

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